I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
