I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I have tasted many bathrooms
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