Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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