I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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