He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize