I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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