After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
