I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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