he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize