Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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