Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
