So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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