Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Come share oat with me in your robe
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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