she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
