after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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