Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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it's not cheating when I paid for it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
