come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'm like, not good at living.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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