he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize