This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize