Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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