I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
