So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
PANTIES FOUND
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