I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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