Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
