Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
