Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
