Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
