I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
