Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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