I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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