he wants to bone in the snuggie
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
