I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
