seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
