Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize