I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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