wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
