I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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