Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
