It's Friday. Sex?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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