First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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