ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
