Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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