just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
its liver damage thursday
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
