i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize