dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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