we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
