why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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