Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i wish my penis had a tongue
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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