the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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