yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
He felt like a one man threesome
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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