This girl is more easily done than said...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
