Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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