mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
