Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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