is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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