Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
